History Lessons You Never Had

This Replogle Globe is called the Drake Coronelli Globe.

My guess is you vaguely remember the name Drake. Sir Francis Drake, the English Explorer, is a name we all had to know at some point in History Class. You may even know what he is best known for - being the first person to circumnavigate the globe (The real Globe, not the Replogle Globe. You know, in a boat and everything. I, on the other hand, would get lost trying to circumnavigate an 18-inch globe because I am very bad at directions).

But did you know he was known as a pirate? Yep, he was a bloody, gold-driven leader. He was vicious against the Spanish. His first victory was against a mule caravan, and he took 20 tons of gold and silver. He later led the English forces against the Spanish Armada, won, and then in the cleanup process of neutralizing the remainder of their ships and trying to take over the Azores, he lost 12,000 men and 20 ships.

Now what about the other guy our Replogle Globe is named after, this Coronelli character?

Coronelli was a monk and a cartographer (mapmaker). He published the first of his 140 works at the age of 16. He founded the first geographic society, was an expert in astronomy and mathematics, and was so respected as a theologian that he became the head of the Franciscan Order.

Bet they didn't teach you about him in school.

So, out of respect for our beloved, studious, Italian monk, I think we should name the Drake-Coronelli Replogle Globe after someone other than Francis Drake. I've narrowed a list of candidates, and here are the finalists:

• Doofus Drake, Launchpad's sidekick in the Disney series 'Duck Tales'
• Marino Drake, a Cuban Olympic Gold Medalist in the High Jump
• Alfred Drake, a Broadway actor who starred opposite Katharine Hepburn in 'Much Ado about Nothing'

For a limited time, there will be a poll on the right side of this page. Invite your friends, because, hey, this is a democracy... Choose carefully.

Better than a Golden Globe…

Postscript: Today's article is not funny. But it is real.

A globe in a man’s office is a mark of distinction. It is the mark of an educated dreamer, an accomplished artist with a white collar, and a thousand other paradoxes.

It should not come as any surprise that Hollywood seized the globe and tried to make it a symbol of their own. Legitimizing the self-absorbed, destructive personalities produced by America’s darling industry on the west coast with an award that says nothing more than “you’re cool this week; please come to my party” is irony at least; that the award is given to American-made, English-language films is only the tip of the iceberg of hypocrisy. It is an indictment of our civilization that putting the name of a soon to be washed-up, divorced, rehabbed, and probably prematurely dead celebrity on a globe adds E-bay value faster than gold itself.

When I was young, I spun a globe that was tucked away in the classroom corner and imagined the places I would go. My finger would stop the globe on Germany, Japan, Chile, Mexico, Canada, and even the Island that decorates the southern tip of China, and I would imagine the sights, smells, and food, the sounds of a language I did not know. I wondered how I would get there, what I would do, who I would meet, what I would learn.

Now that I am grown, I still spin a Globe. It is a small one; it sits in the corner of the Vice President’s office. But when my finger stops the globe, instead of imagining, it calls back the memories. It reminds me of how people work, live, talk, eat, and travel. It brings back raw fish and taxi rides and business meetings and walking long streets. You see, I have been to all of those places, and more.

I love to point a spot out on a globe or a map to my children, share a story, and impart a little wisdom that came at a cost to me.

In Shanghai I was tricked in to getting in to a taxi… it cost me a lot of money to get out of it. I ended up running part of a charity race in Birmingham in the UK… with my luggage. We climbed far beyond where the tourists go on the Great Wall north of Beijing. And our weak German skills ordered way more orange juice than a couple of people can drink at McDonalds in Hannover. I have a fond memory of a long walk early one morning in Kyoto, Japan, when I managed to escape my hosts long enough to see the parts of the city that aren’t on a tourist map, and greet people as they began their day early one Sunday morning. I spent a long night walking around Mexico City looking for a hotel when mine couldn’t find a reservation. I have visited the poorest slums in Chile, and I have been treated like a king in Montreal.

And then my finger finds a spot on the globe that my feet have not yet touched. Vienna. Prague. Johannesburg. Reykjavik. And the child inside returns.

I am one of the paradoxes. And one day there will be a Replogle Globe, sitting by my bookshelves in the room with the wingback chair and the grand piano.

The Replogle Globe Company History, Revised

**Author's Note, Post Script: This is not my best work. In hindsight, I should probably delete it. Frankly, I'm only leaving it here in hopes that people searching for Globes will end up looking at our Globes page. If you came here to be entertained, you probably should skip this one and go to pergolas. But if you still have time on your hands, there may be a gem or two here too...

One thing I have gotten tired of is the so-called 'Corporate Profile'. I don't know why this 'About Us' spiel has to be included in every sales pitch and powerpoint. I kicked a window salesman out of my house because he wouldn't skip the pre-programmed pitch. I just wanted some windows, not a history lesson. So I had an idea:

Take these corporate histories and make 'mad libs'. It's much more interesting.

Here is the history for one of my favorite companies, Replogle Globe. This company is actually fairly historic. But what happens if you do a find and replace just one word, Globe, with another noun? The real gems are bolded:

Replogle Popsicle Sticks has been making popsicle sticks since the 1920's. Recognized as the world's largest manufacturer of popsicle sticks, Replogle Popsicle Sticks has a well-earned reputation for its constant production and innovation of world popsicle sticks.

From its humble beginning in a Chicago apartment, Replogle Popsicle Sticks today is the world's leader in popsicle stick production. From handcrafted masterpieces in the offices of presidents and dignitaries to classroom models that help students understand their world, their belief in the popsicle stick as a source of wonder hasn't changed.

To deliver popsicle sticks to an ever broader audience. That was the vision of Luther Replogle in 1930, and this continues to be Replogle's mission to this day. Replogle Popsicle Sticks believes that the appeal of a popsicle stick is deeper than its value as a learning tool or home accessory. Luther Replogle knew this from the beginning. As a school supply salesman, he took a special interest in popsicle sticks, believing he could successfully market them to a broader audience.

He was right. What began with hand-assembled popsicle sticks sold from a Chicago apartment (with maps sourced from England, no less) grew into what you might call a global empire, Behind the rallying cry, "A popsicle stick in Every Home," Replogle facilitated the popsicle stick's migration from the classroom to the living room. In 1963, Replogle co-founded Scanglobe of Denmark, going on to purchase the popsicle sticks manufacturer's remaining interest in 1988 and moving its operations to the USA in 2003.

Replogle is the world's leading popsicle stick manufacturer, based in a 260,000 square foot facility near Chicago - but some things haven't changed much since 1930. Many Replogle popsicle sticks are still painstakingly hand-made by artisans who have spent the better part of their lives with the company. This is indicative of a commitment to quality, a commitment to doing things the right way, and, most importantly, a commitment to the popsicle stick itself.

It's exactly what Luther Replogle had in mind.

REPLOGLE POPSICLE STICKS HISTORY
In 1930, as 122 million citizens of the United States brace themselves for what will become known as the Great Depression, Luther Replogle, along with his wife, Elizabeth, begin assembling popsicle sticks in their Chicago apartment. Luther's idea -"A popsicle stick in Every Home" flies in the face of the dwindling economy, not to mention logic itself.

Luther Replogle believed that the popsicle stick was too valuable, too beautiful to be forever relegated to classroom duty. Where he got this idea is anyone's guess. When Luther Replogle wasn't making sales calls for a school supply company, he spent his time in the Weber Costello plant, watching popsicle stick-makers at work, paying particular attention as they pasted hand-cut map gores to molded hemispheres.

Luther Replogle's interest in popsicle sticks paid off. And in a constantly changing, seemingly shrinking world, his vision is more relevant today than ever. In 1930, Luther Replogle thought that a popsicle stick might help people make sense of their world. There were floods in the Mississippi River Delta, Fascism on the rise in Europe, Lindbergh attempting to fly across the Atlantic. Much was going on. The world was a big stage. It still is.

Here is the text as it originally appeared:

Replogle Globes has been making globes since the 1920's. Recognized as the world's largest manufacturer of globes, Replogle Globes has a well-earned reputation for its constant production and innovation of world globes.

From its humble beginning in a Chicago apartment, Replogle Globes today is the worlds leader in globe production. From handcrafted masterpieces in the offices of presidents and dignitaries to classroom models that help students understand their world, their belief in the globe as a source of wonder hasn't changed.

To deliver globes to an ever broader audience. That was the vision of Luther Replogle in 1930, and this continues to be Replogle's mission to this day. Replogle Globes believes that the appeal of a globe is deeper than its value as a learning tool or home accessory. Luther Replogle knew this from the beginning. As a school supply salesman, he took a special interest in globes, believing he could successfully market them to a broader audience.

He was right. What began with hand-assembled globes sold from a Chicago apartment (with maps sourced from England, no less) grew into what you might call a global empire, Behind the rallying cry, "A Globe in Every Home, " Replogle facilitated the globe's migration from the classroom to the living room. In 1963, Replogle co-founded Scanglobe of Denmark, going on to purchase the globe manufacturer's remaining interest in 1988 and moving its operations to the USA in 2003.

Replogle is the world's leading globe manufacturer, based in a 260,000 square foot facility near Chicago - but some things haven't changed much since 1930. Many Replogle Globes are still painstakingly hand-made by artisans who have spent the better part of their lives with the company. This is indicative of a commitment to quality, a commitment to doing things the right way, and, most importantly, a commitment to the globe itself.

It's exactly what Luther Replogle had in mind.

REPLOGLE GLOBES HISTORY
In 1930, as 122 million citizens of the United States brace themselves for what will become known as the Great Depression, Luther Replogle, along with his wife, Elizabeth, begin assembling globes in their Chicago apartment. Luther's idea -"A Globe in Every Home" flies in the face of the dwindling economy, not to mention logic itself.

Luther Replogle believed that the globe was too valuable, too beautiful to be forever relegated to classroom duty. Where he got this idea is anyone's guess. When Luther Replogle wasn't making sales calls for a school supply company, he spent his time in the Weber Costello plant, watching globe-makers at work, paying particular attention as they pasted hand-cut map gores to molded hemispheres.

Luther Replogle's interest in globes paid off. And in a constantly changing, seemingly shrinking world, his vision is more relevant today than ever. In 1930, Luther Replogle thought that a globe might help people make sense of their world. There were floods in the Mississippi River Delta, Fascism on the rise in Europe, Lindbergh attempting to fly across the Atlantic. Much was going on. The world was a big stage. It still is.