Top Ten Medieval Dungeon Accessories

Author's Post-Script: This is a joke. Okay? A Joke. As in, fabricated for your enjoyment.

Today's Top Ten List:

These Afinia products came from a Medieval Dungeon, complete with their historical archaeological context:

What dungeon would be complete without a torchy-looking Propane Fireplace. I didn't know they had propane back then!

You wouldn't usually think of a retro jukebox as being a torture device. But the one we found was loaded up entirely with Meatloaf albums.

Apparently, the dungeonkeepers were big Russell Crowe Fans. Because they had this cool Gladiator Knife Display. I guess Russell is older than he looks.

A well-organized Dungeon is a happy dungeon! Here's the executioner's top of the line Garage Storage System.

This very unique fan. I have it on good authority that dungeonmasters talked in to electric fans to make their voices sound sinister, like Darth Vader.

These aren't just swimming pool floats! In the event of an emergency, such as flooding in the dungeon, these would drop from the ceiling. It's a well-documented fact that today's airline passenger comfort and safety standards are derived from the days of dungeonkeepiny.

This looks like a Wine Bottle Opener. But it's really a medieval torture device. We've scratched the 'place your thumb here' sticker off.

You think you hang your coats up on this Foyer Bench or sit on it to put on your shoes. But it's really for stringing up prisoners when they are questioned.

Also, in the interrogation room, we found a skeleton stretched across this one. Now it's a Hammock Stand.