Hammock Time.

The most relaxing vacation I have ever had was spent largely in a hammock. We drove to Maine, and I parked it next to the lake on my wife's family's property in one of those old woven rope hammocks, and didn't really move. When the air temperature is just right, the breeze is just strong enough to keep the bugs off and swing the hammock a little bit, and the humidity is high enough to make you sleepy but not so high as to make you sticky, you're home.

I'm thinking one of the uncovered hammocks is ideal for me - because I'm a cloud-watcher and a stargazer. But the Sakura Jacquard Cushioned Double Swing Hammock prompts visions of ice cream on the front porch on a hot July day. What's your variety?

Thomas the Tank Engine Pedal Car

Does anyone else think the face on the Thomas the Tank Engine Pedal Car is a little spooky?

Reminds me of the soulless children's faces on Polar Express. What a weird movie.

The Real Man Rules

My previous article mentioned the Real Man Rules. Here are a few:

1. Real men do not match fabrics. Clothing, furniture, draperies, it does not matter.

(You'll notice that all Afinia Hammocks fit almost anywhere, and our Outdoor Furniture is displayed in neutral colors. There is a simple color selector on each outdoor furniture page, for the purpose of your Significant Other, hereafter referred to as 'GPS Override'.) In the event of an emergency (being forced to select color on your own), simply choose the same fabric color for the whole set. And it doesn't matter which one you choose; it's outdoor furniture, its supposed to be flashy. For indoor furniture, male = leather. Everything else is her choice. Go with it, don't try to argue.

2. Everyone knows that real men do not ask directions. Now, as an extension of this rule, notice that in the detailed coolness that are our classic pedal toys, we simulate everything of importance. That is, steering and lights. No GPS. For those whose livelihood depend on it, we forgive you for putting GPS in your vehicle. Especially if your vehicle is an Airbus A-330, which we fly on regularly. We are grateful you have GPS. Once you have GPS, you may notice that the female in the seat next to you does not always agree with GPS. Hence the spousal title, "GPS override". Again, you may get lost, but go with it, don't try to argue.

3. Real men use fire. Questions? None? Okay, moving along.

4. Real men go to the doctor for two reasons: First, an error status code in critical regions of body. Second, the GPS override has directed us to the doctor.

5. Real men prefer the purchase of a tool over the purchase of repair services. This does, of course, necessitate a worthy tool-storage solution that provides an adequate place of honor for said tools after their meritorious service.

6. Knickknack shelf bad. Clocks good. Photo Montages bad. Globes good.

7. The garage has a deep emotional and perhaps even spiritual role in our lives. You get a 'mani-pedi'. We tinker. But it is not our domain. Secretly, we wish for crossover by the females in to the domain, as long as they do not mistake a fine wood chisel for a lever and ruin the blade. In like manner, men secretly like to do dishes for their GPS Override. The only reason they hold back is they don't want her to get used to it, they like the acknowledgement.

Why stop at 7? Because one of the real man rules prohibits me from fully explaining all of them at once. (Some are in fact never to be explained at all.) There are specific guidelines about using public restrooms, for example, that predate Senator Craig's indiscretions (he violated the rules, and in doing so, reinforced them for all of male-dom).

Have an odd male behavior you would like explained? Post a comment here, and we'll be happy to assess whether what you have observed is based in some interpretation of the rules.