Top 10 Afinia Products to Keep Hidden in Your Office

1. Ford Trimotor Model Airplane: For those times when you can no longer bear to be working and want to pretend you’re on a jet heading for Waikiki Beach. “Yeeee-oooowwwwn!” you say as you fly your handheld plane across the office, swooping through doorways.

2. Brass Yacht Bell: When the power randomly happens to go out, how else are you going to get your co-workers’ attention? A few clangs on this beauty and they’ll all come running to your office to hatch an escape plan before the power comes back on.

3. Labyrinth Basket: Okay, it’s not something to keep hidden; it’s what you hide inside of it! Buried under a few folders and papers you have stored your emergency stash of Butterfingers, that bottle of 1987 Shiraz, your anti-diarrheal medication, and blackmail photos for the day your office mate betrays you.

4. Ambrogio 30 Minute Hourglass: It’s 4:03… Fifty-seven more minutes to go?! Rather than watching the clock, you’ll be amazed to find that time really does fly by faster when you’re watching it trickle away in an hourglass! Sort of…

5. Rogar Champion Wine Opener: Let’s face it, one day the company is going to go under and when you get the news, you’ll be glad you had a way to pop the cork out of that Shiraz bottle you’ve been saving.

6. Real Flame Personal Gel Fuel Fireplace: You really don’t want to admit it, but you’re kind of a pansy in the winter months when it comes to the cold weather. Not wanting to blare a portable space heater, you do it the environmentally-friendly way with an enclosed flame coming out of a hollowed-out rock!

7. Scottsdale 6-Player Croquet Set: For those crystal-clear 72-degree June days where sitting in a dark office just won’t cut it, you and the gang can take an extra few minutes on break and break out a game of croquet on the back lawn.

8. Willow Picnic Basket Set: See #7. Someone needs to bring the refreshments!

9. Once Upon a Time Girl Brass Statue: For the isolated office worker who is just dying for some companionship, this brass lawn ornament can quickly become your best friend in times of need. “Jane, I just wish everyone here was as good at listening to my problems as you!”

10. Stateroom Mirror #2: Always a good idea to have one of these on hand in times of needed self-reassurance. “I’m good enough, I’m start enough, and doggone it, people like me!”